Mar 30, 2014

Proxies

I never wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to be special.

The kind of special where people are always happy to see you. The gold star kind of special. The saved an extra dessert for you kind of special. The dancing at sunlight on a July morning kind of special. The down comforter on a cold night kind of special.

So special that I shone, beautifully.

Mar 28, 2014

Riptide



I got lost in a wave of the past tonight. It came up over me, a flood of unmoored memories.

I let go. My feet clenched into the sand, but my back arched up as the water pulled me away, a gravity all its own.

I was floating. Reminiscing in a tide of nostalgia that tasted of salt tears and burnt sugar marshmallows. The years flowed around me, echoes, bodiless entities, fluid.

2000 Block party champagne fear of the dark firecracker sparkler thirteen too young to be two thousand

2010 destiny graduation disbelief reality unanswered telephone calls walls vellum parchment processions

89 cupcakes yellow brick roads desert desserts blue bell ice cream wooden paddles barbie parades red flyer wagons sand dune oceans

The wave crests and crashes over my head, toes reaching for purchase in the silty soil but finding nothing but blue sky as my lungs fill with briny sobs.

I am lost to the wave.

blank canvas

this canvas is blank. does that mean it's time for me to start afresh? that's one of the side effects of blank canvas -- it brings...