Sep 21, 2016

Dreamy cats

I had a dream that you got a cat. I came over unannounced. You had guests. And a cat.

I don't know what the cat looked like.

I know it wasn't you though, it was some other you, some dreamworld you, multidimensional but in other dimensions than reality. I know the difference, now.

And also just that
you don't have a cat.

Sep 2, 2016


Feynman was born a Taurus so of course the two of you are nothing alike but it doesn't stop me from making comparisons.  You would too, you know.

Feynman was an artist and he knew Mandarin and he kept his time for himself.  Did you know that Maggie gave me a book with a series of lectures by Feynman? Sometimes I wonder how it is that I haven't read and re-read everything that he's written and or said but I suppose that one authorial obsession a year is probably enough.  Besides, I've got this whole book on the Herald Tribune to read.  Someday. Maybe.  Maybe not.

My writing is shit but I don't give a damn. Do you give a damn?  I'm not sure if Feynman gave a damn.  I think it's one of those things where giving a damn is relational to who you're talking to, you know.  I mean, what does it mean to care really.  What if I know the answer to this question but I don't care enough to tell you.

Or maybe I care, too much.

My writing is shit but I'm ok with that.  Sometimes I look back on what I've been up to, writing wise, and I realize that I used to write better.  Or at least, more formally.  And the quality of my ideas isn't necessarily improving, if anything they're less eluciditory.  Or so it feels.

Feynman was probably never a shitty writer. I bet he always just wrote what he felt needed to be written.  The next, logical thing that came to mind.  Or at least, the one that made the most sense at the time.

the time has come, the walrus said. to speak of many things. of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. and if the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.


‪some days I remember the lies you told me and i laugh at both of us‬ ‪at me, for wanting so badly to believe you‬ ‪at you, for having t...